Hello Lovers, its been a minute… If I am honest, my motivation levels have been at 0. I’m not really sure if there’s an underlying reason for this that’s linking to depression, or simply because I want to fucking chill and do some shit for me. I tend to over analyse and create issues that aren’t there. I love to create and be on my shit, but my vessel lately has felt nothing short of exhausted. So either way, I know time away from creating is what I have needed. I say time away from creating, like I haven’t been creating. I have been. I’ve just not been sharing. Theres a few blogs that are currently a work in progress, and have been for a while. I’ve been travelling and just enjoying myself. So you would think that I would be filled with a new lease of life, but its had the opposite effect.
I’ve been planning on travelling for a longer duration for a while now. Saving my pennies so I have the opportunity to just spread my wings and dive head first into the unknown. My soul is seriously craving it. Patience has never been my strong suit. The holidays are ultimately setting back my savings for the longer travelling plans. But I genuinely cannot deprive myself of holidays in-between. I will go insane. Finding that balance of: ’I’m saving to travel’, ‘but also taking longer to do the big tings because I’m going on holidays’, ‘still travelling though, so that’s good’.
It’s just a heavy cycle.
Life is funny with its cycles. They are here to teach us, and we miss the lessons if we don’t pay attention. Majority of our cycles consist of: life, death and life again. Each part showing us subtle (and sometimes huge) shifts, that need to take place to advance to the next level. When I say death, I do not mean literal death… Well in some cases I do. When we are met with actual death in life, it is an opportunity to start anew. Whether that’s loosing a loved one, or loosing our own lives. I do not believe we die and that’s just it. Death has never been a thing to scare me. I ponder on it a lot, not because I want to take my own life, but because I know that when something dies, something else takes it place.
This is probably sounding a lot deeper than a lot of the content I've been dropping lately, but as you know, this is a place for me to release as much as it is a place for you to explore. Surface level shit is not enough to keep me satiated. I ponder about this world of ours a lot, and the role I play in it. So as dark as some of my thoughts may seem, in general, I am actually doing very well; so don’t panic!
You will receive some sauce soon, promise. But for now, I thought I'd share something a little different to my usual shit. There was a time in my life where I really wanted to be a singer. Unfortunately for me, you need good vocals to be able to do that. Instead, I would write poetry. I find something so healing about putting my thoughts and feelings into a form that isn’t a journalling vibe. I journal a lot, and on occasion, my thoughts and feelings transpire into poetry by accident… is anything really an accident though?
The Universe knows what it’s doing. I wanted to share a little something a wrote recently. You may hate it, you may love it. Either way, I felt the need to express…
I am trying to make sense of this life of mine But the more I seek sense The more nonsense I find I am drawn to a world of wonder Where should’s and could’s do not exist A place of presence and beauty
Where love persists
With trees swaying in the gentle breeze Ocean tides dancing Reminding me to breathe No more chaos buzzing around my head Stillness and contentment Takes its place instead My heart feeling warmer than the tropical sun Right here, right now The seeking is done
For what is life if we continue to chase?
The secret is learning to take up space
Its not about being here, there and everywhere
Its about handling exactly where you are with care
My feet stay grounded upon the floor Knowing I will be bestowed with more
The more grateful I am The more I attract The more present I am The lesser the attacks Theres nothing wrong
With being a mess I’ll tend to these wounds
With a loving caress And as I heal And more wounds come Ill remind myself The journey is not yet done Life happens Cycles may repeat The test of strength Is not to admit defeat
Even when I’m broken And feel I can no longer go on Hope seeps through the cracks A bright light is shone And when its time for me to leave this Earth Ill remind myself i’ve been here before Arms wide, welcoming re-birth…
I know this phase of mine is exactly that…a phase. Excited to get some mojo back and drop some naughty things for you all.
Here’s what’s coming:
SEXINESS… CZECH (this is the non PG recall of Prague - feel like Prague was a long time ago now, but I want drop you the tings)
FORBIDDEN FUCKING (I am absolutely drawing myself out in this one and some of you may legit hate me for it but fuck it and fuck you… just kidding)
0 FUCKING SWAG (a realisation I’ve had with a recent lover that I now no longer talk to, but again, I've seen a little cycle repeat and would like to tell you about it)
Anyways, I hope you’ve all been keeping well.
Until next time, Lovers
SIS xox
Last 2 images were taken in a monastery in Crete, felt fitting.