In the midst of the chaos 2020 has dumped on us; I can’t help but feel grateful for all of the lessons I have learnt. After all, knowledge is power, right? I have always been financially driven. I sought comfort in new possessions: clothing, shoes, make-up and so on. Hunting for happiness in material possessions made me realise it was a never-ending journey. I would always want more. Materialism may bring temporary pleasure but that’s exactly what it says on the tin. Temporary. I was working backwards. Do I want a life of luxury? Of course. But what good is living a life of luxury if you’re miserable within yourself? All the money in the world will not make you truly happy.
I mean, it helps but it doesn’t solve our internal misery. When things don’t go our way, we assume the Universe is ‘against us’. This is false. Things just aren’t going the way we planned or envisioned and 2020 has been a prime example. But when we work in alignment with our TRUEST self, the riches will prosper; coming in unexpected ways. Nothing is impossible, but you can’t receive your gifts if you are not ready for them. That means being open to opportunity, finding positives within the negative and being grateful no matter what. It’s not about banking your happiness and contentment on the destination - the real magic lies within the journey.
Building Blocks
Previously, I have been notorious with toxic behaviours and unhealthy patterns. Falling for emotionally unavailable men which resulted in convincing myself I didn’t want true intimacy incase I got hurt…again. Filling emotional voids with drugs, alcohol and meaningless sex. This lead to anxiety, depression, confusion and frustration. I reached a point where my self-worth flatlined. I didn’t understand my deepest desires. I didn’t understand myself; full stop. I conditioned myself for protection, conformity and external validation. I would burn myself out by implementing tasks without having any real passion for them. I didn’t understand the concept of rest because I believed I had to work extremely hard if I wanted to be successful and ‘I can rest when I’m dead’. This is honestly a load of bullshit. You should definitely put hard work towards what you want but don’t kill yourself in the process.
These unhealthy actions made me feel like dog shit. I could no longer live a miserable life, not recognising the woman in the mirror staring back at me. It was terrifying; so I decided it was time for change. I stopped partying every weekend with my friends (this was difficult as I used to get serious FOMO). I stopped going out of my way to people please. This consisted of not doing things I didn’t really want to do, cutting people out of my life that drained my energy and not holding my tongue when I had something to express. I stopped fucking fuck boys. I stopped smoking weed everyday (broke my heart but thank fuck I did it). Removing the activities that didn’t provide benefit to my life left me with a lot of time to myself. And its within the silence that you can finally hear yourself again. When all of your usual coping mechanisms and habits disappear, what do you do? Replace them with better ones.
Daily Habits
About three years ago I delved into the spiritual realm. A place unknown to me yet familiar. Rather than acting in a way people 'expected'. I began to ask myself: what do I truly desire? What patterns aren’t serving my highest purpose? What kind of woman do I want to be? How do I want to impact the world?
Spiritual journeys aren’t about taking drugs and tree hugging with your tribe. It’s about identifying the conditioning you’ve learnt over the years and breaking it down to create something new and better. Healing past traumas, as painful as they may be. It’s about coming back to source. Removing all of the shit we have been forced to believe about the world and ourselves and creating a new perspective that serves your highest purpose and truest self.
It's amazing how you see the world once you come out of the Matrix My daily routines have changed dramatically. I wake up first thing and remind myself I am grateful for the opportunity to live another day. I then practice yoga to awaken my body, paying attention to the internal fire I am feeding; using breath work to amplify this fire. Meditation follows, to clear my mind and set myself up nicely for the tasks ahead. Throughout the day I say affirmations to myself - we underestimate the power of the words ‘I am’. This helps us shift old beliefs and welcome new ones. I have baths in the evenings to ensure I am taking at least an hour a day to rest completely and unwind. Meditation before bed allows me to release the day and sleep with a refreshened mind - ready for the magic the new day will bring. 2020 was about gaining back my POWER and understanding what that means for me. In a world that’s constantly seeking validation from others, don’t forget the only person who truly needs to be pleased is you.
& with that, I’d like to welcome you to SIS, a platform that will be delving into love, sex, relationships, self-healing, philosophy and pretty much anything that contributes to inspiring you to live YOUR best life.
You deserve a life you love.
From my heart to yours,
SIS xx
