Anyone with a brain knows that the majority of porn available has set an unrealistic expectation of what sex should look like…
Sex isn’t meant to be choreographed. Sex is meant to be experienced, moment by moment, tingle pon tingle. You can’t surrender to pleasure if you’re worrying about what you look like.
Anytime I’ve got into my head during sex, the pleasure has been massively diminished. Insecurities can be revealed during this time if you’re not secure within yourself, and this can take away from the experience for both you and your partner.
I love ugly fucking
This person has chosen to lay with me, the same way I have chosen to lay with them. They want to experience the luxury of me. Worrying about what I look like just doesn’t make sense in this moment. They know what I look like. They like it. If they didn’t, we wouldn’t be here in the first place. My sex faces be looking like I’m in severe pain when I’m getting that good loving. I’m twisted the fuck up, mistaking back rolls for titties and dammmnnn papi I didn’t know I could bend this way, hit it 💁🏽♀️
Isn’t it interesting how the faces we make when we are in deep pain, are also the faces we make when we’re experiencing deep pleasure? There’s probably a scientific reason for this, I’ll do some research and get back to you.
Being visually stimulated during sex is vital for many of us. What we neglect to remember is that what we may think is ugly, someone else may think is sexy as fuck. I’ve watched videos of me fuxking and I wouldn’t say I look the most appealing. But what is appealing, is my ability to receive that pleasure and get lost in it. To get the fuck out of my head and into that delicious moment of letting go so I can welcome the ecstasy and ENJOY it. Thats something I KNOW he finds appealing because he’s lost in this ecstasy with me.
You’ve got to learn to own your shit, man.
This social media age has us fucked up. It’s got us believing that being human is undesirable, that showing emotion is weak and that perfection is easily attained - we all know its an illusion. We have this overload of information seeping into our subconscious, re-wiring our beliefs without us even realising what’s happening.
You’ll be worried about doing that thing you like because a meme said it was disgusting. You’ll find missionary boring because that meme proclaimed it as vanilla - totally not vanilla by the way, you’re just not doing it right. Or vice versa, you’ll be doing shit you don’t even like just to say that you do it - don’t eat the booty if you don’t want to boo, its okay.
Social media will have you feeling less-than for not knowing and foolish for asking. You can’t let the outside world effect how YOU feel about yourself. If you’re not sure about something then investigate what feels true to you. This is no-one else’s reality apart from your own. YOU run your world. You wanna look like a sexy bitch when you’re getting backshots? Cool, all you have to do is FEEL like a sexy bitch and that man will KNOW.
Energy doesn’t lie.
I remember when I wanted to improve my dick riding abilities, I wouldn’t say I was awful but I knew there was a lot of room for improvement. I felt like anytime I finally hit the right angle, the dick would fall out - it was infuriating. That mixed with the paranoia of ‘I bet I looking fucking awful at this angle’ just made riding not as pleasurable as it could have been. Not to mention I was reverse cowgirling up on this fella one time and I almost broke his dick.
So what did I do?
I went to the trusted PornHub and researched some amateur videos - needless to say pro videos are fake as fuck. I can’t take them seriously. I grabbed a suction dildo, slapped that shit straight on my floor in front of the mirror and guess what? A bitch learnt. As much as I could have learnt anyway. Dildo’s don’t bend like real dick and the positioning isn’t an exact reflection of real life because you know, there’s not a body attached to it. But the more comfortable I became with my flow, the more confident I was to get on top moving forward.
He won’t have time to think about what I look like if I’m snatching his soul soo…
Things I learnt during this process:
1. If you want to learn from porn sites, choose authentic amateur videos, always 2. If you get into your head, you will not ride to your full potential 3. He doesn’t give a fuck about what you look like right now, he has titties in his face
4. Find your flow, feel - don’t think
5. If all else fails just hold still and let him fuck you from below
BONUS LESSON: Confidence will spank the fuck out of any situation.
I’ve done some pretty embarrassing shit in the bedroom but I’ve done it with my chest because embarrassment is an emotion I don’t have much time for. Will I fuck up? Of course. Will I get better? Thats down to me. Will I let 10 seconds of an otherwise lovely session ruin the entire experience for me? No I bloody wont.
When I reflect on previous situations I become flabbergasted because how can I let a man be nose deep in my arsehole but not be able to tell him my feelings? Thats some backwards shit. Why are we so comfortable sharing body fluid but not our authentic selves?
The conditioning of this generation is wild
Sex is meant to be stress relieving, an opportunity to connect with ourselves as well as experiencing someone else's naked truth. It requires us to be fully present if our wish is to reach euphoric levels of pleasure - it's in correlation to acceptance. You can only reach the experience as far as you have accepted and met yourself.
I like it messy - not like shit and piss on me messy. I want my hair matted and wild from the friction of my head rubbing against whatever surface he chooses to take me on. I want sloppy ass kisses, feeling our saliva dribble down my chin as he grips my neck. I want him to spit in my mouth. I want to taste the sweat on his collar bone as he edges deeper inside of me. I want buss on my belly, on my face and wherever the hell it goes - as long as I get to taste it.
I want to be my true divine self during something intimate. I want to feel comfortable, confident and curious. If you’re worrying so much about what you look like during sex, should you be having it with that person... or at all? 🤭
There’s some connections that have you moving loose, those connections are always the best ones, for me anyways. When you both just don’t give a shit because you’ve either been together so long, or the vibe is naturally fruitful. You both trust each other, you both feel safe and you both respect each other. When all of these factors come into play, ugly fucking isn’t an issue because you simply don’t care.
Feeling comfortable enough to open your legs but not comfortable enough for him to have you in certain positions during the deed is silly. Stop worrying about what you look like, you’re only wasting valuable time at this point. I know majority of us have experienced a sexy situation where you go into it looking 10/10, hairs sitting exactly where it should, make-up looking flawless. Then we get seen to and end up looking like we’ve just crawled out of the grave. We looked fucked, literally, and the body be bruk.
It’s so magical isn’t it?
If there aren’t some questionable faces being pulled and some limbs nearing breakage point, did you really have a good session? Of course you did. These things are not essential but they are common. Fuck how you want to fuck; stop getting into your head about what you look like. I know when I am in a moment of deep pleasure my eyes are shut and it’s the same for most people because we want to heighten the sense of feeling.
We fuck to feel, not to look.
Speak soon, Lovers
SIS xox