You may be thinking ‘what beanie is this horny bitch referring to?’
To which I would answer, the bobble hat kind.
Now, if you are an avid supporter of all of my content, you will know that my latest YouTube drop was all to do with completing my 12 month celibacy (go me!) and having a well deserved BANG; yummy!
If you haven’t already seen it, click here because you NEED the tea to continue…
Ive chosen the word ‘bang’ because that’s exactly what it was… and because the alliteration goes well for the title, duh.
This man can’t keep his hands off me and I fucking love it. Feeling desired is a HUGE turn on for me and he makes it so known. The eye contact is strong and sexy, he starts looking a little mean, like he’s mad that I’m so delicious - I don’t blame him because this vessel is A1. His energy completely shifts when he moves closer and I usually blush and look away, then look up at him. On my feminine shit! The tension alone is a real good time so my juices are flowing before he’s even touched me.
One thing I neglected to tell you guys in my YouTube video is that, although he loves an aggressive beat, he naturally has a softness about him that makes my pussy dribble. And by softness I am not referring to anything ‘weak’. This man is one of the most balanced people, in regards to feminine and masculine energy, that I’ve dealt with. The funny thing is, if I asked him about masculine and feminine energy, he wouldn’t have a clue what I was going on about - maybe on a very basic level but that’s it. His ability to drop in and really pay attention to me is orgasmic.
Our sex is so delicious and I keep going back, even after a year of having nothing, he touches me like its his first time every time. He provides me with this safety that not many men have before. He’s always honest with me, even if its brutal and that’s one of my highest values. He will try his best not to hurt my feelings but at the same time, will never dishonour his truth to flatter me, or manipulate me into getting what he wants. He is a GOOD man, like real fucking good.
I’ve always tested partners in the past when it comes to their masculinity. I used to be extremely masculine driven, and in all of the wrong ways. My ego ran the game. When I feel my partner is operating from a place of ego, insecurity, or is straight up lying to themselves; I get SHOOK. I will leave the relationship because I do not feel safe. I've been in that position, I know those feelings and that’s not what I want to deal with in a partner. I have been through a lot, all of us have. The last thing I want is to not feel comfortable having my man lead because his actions are showing me he is incapable.
Anyways, safety = sexy. Whether it's a committed relationship or fuck buddy, the more safe I feel, the more I want to open up and share - its the same with most women. Not to mention how much wetter we get when we feel safe!
So here I am, a week over my 12 month mark and its my 25th birthday woop woop! I go the whole damn day and he hasn’t messaged me to say happy birthday - I am insulted but I don’t message him yet. I wait until the next day and drop him the line, ‘can’t lie, I’m upset with ya’. Later in the evening, I check my phone and I have numerous missed calls and messages off him, apologising.
I won’t say why he didn’t message me a happy birthday because that’s not my business, just know his excuse was valid. I tell him I’ll message him when I get in and ask if he’s okay, he replies saying he’s all good. I call him the next morning as I’m walking my pooches and I am aired - well isn’t this fun. Then I get a call 20 mins later saying he’s outside my house…
It’s about 10:30am and he meets me on the field, we have a lil chat and then we go back to mine. The talking continues and before I know it, I’m sitting on his lap receiving slow sensual kisses on my neck whilst he’s rubbing my pussy over my leggings. Everything inside of me is TINGLING. ‘This feels so fucking good’, ‘should I be doing this?’ ‘I don’t want him to stop’, ‘oh yes more of that please’ - so many thoughts running through my head, and then I said to myself ‘STOP THINKING AND BE IN THE MOMENT, BITCH RECEIVE ALL OF THIS’.
I shut my eyes and let go…
He stands me up and bends me over my bed. Slides his hand down the back of my leggings and begins to feel my warm pool of essence - he loves that I’m already wet down there. He knows I’ve been waiting for him and I can feel his excitement, I bite my lip and do a lil moan and a giggle; I’m feeling cheeky like that… In a haze of desire, he whips his beautiful dick out over the top of his trackies and enters me, as slowly as he could. His slow, not being slow at all and a tiny bit painful but I moan because OH HOW I HAVE MISSED HOW GOOD HE FEELS. He groans with me and pushes in deeper, the whole of my insides are dancing as I feel myself contracting around his dick.
ITS GO TIME BABY 😈 !!
I tell him to go easy because you know, it’s been a year and although I’ve masturbated; real dick is different. No word of a lie, he goes easy for about 3 pumps, I start to find my groove and then he can’t contain himself. He is going AT IT. I can’t even sit here and say it was bad because I fucking loved every second of it. I just like slow and sensual too, man; he knows this.
I live in a bungalow and my bedroom window is next to my front door, anyone who walks onto my drive, can see into my bedroom. I don’t have blinds, it’s 11 am on a Sunday and I am getting beat down in broad day light, bedroom door wide open, whole family home and beanies (he’s wearing one too) still on...
It was absolute scenes. I’m trying to back it up in a way that isn’t going to give me internal damage and he is having the time of his life; it didn’t take long for us to finish. He pulls out and busses on my booty as I look back at him. We clean up, and then I spud him and send him on his way.
The sex was spontaneous, naughty and well deserved on both parts. When someone can’t keep their hands off you (consensually), it gives you this absolute surge of pleasure and confidence. I find things easy with him and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. An easy fucking companion that doesn’t ask anything of me. We text a couple times a week briefly and link on occasion. The respect is there, the friendship is there and my pussy is happy yoooo.
The celibacy has helped me re-shape my belief on what it is I actually need in terms of intimacy at the moment. Externally things may seem similar, but internally a lot has changed. In reality, I need a lot of time to myself to stay centred. My previous paradigms around intimacy clearly haven’t been working. I used to end up stressed, drained and completely out of balance. I thought I wanted the conventional kind of relationship, but I am realising that it's not for me at this time in life - this is my opportunity to experiment. To see what works best for me, right now. Let's see how this new vibe goes!
I honestly can’t explain how much I am loving my journey at the moment. I have never felt so blissful in my life. I am tearing up as I'm writing these words because the place I'm reaching internally is all of the love I’ve ever wanted and it feels surreal!
Anything outside of that; is a bonus to my magic.
My fear is that a man will come and take away my peace. It’s my duty to stay true to myself and take my time with whatever it is that I am doing. I’ve learnt a lot about patience recently, I’m learning to respect it for the lessons it brings. Im also learning to listen to my intuition, pay attention to the present and not let my over thinking ruin what is serving me well. This journey of discovering what work I can do to create a better life for me and the collective is far more fulfilling than I have ever imagined!
I feel honoured to be able to be the person you go to when you need that little bit of naughtiness in your life…
Shannon, conventional? NEVER!
Loving you,
SIS xox