What a fast world we live in. Everything is so touch and go, our lunch, our transportation, our shopping, our relationships; when did we get so rushy?
It’s taken me a while to understand the importance of patience. I’ve always been the one to want everything right now! So caught up in the vision of having it all that I never just stopped to take a bloody breath. Like, bitch why do you want it all now anyway? Chill.
I’m enjoying staying in the moment and being fully present. Time goes really quick here anyway! I’ll have it all before I know it and then the process will repeat with new visions and dreams. The gift of life. So many of us take this for granted. So many are blinded and bound by the restrictions they’ve placed on themselves.
Self-doubt is a dream killer
I wouldn’t want to imagine living without the grind of creating my version of the ‘perfect life’. This will look different to everyone. Some people want to be millionaires living in swanky mansions with the latest tech and cars. Some want to live in the country, growing their own food and farming animals. Me? I see myself somewhere tropical, a humble home with a lot of character, close to the sea and a jungle. I have no idea where this is yet but I’m going to go travel the world and find out.
If there’s one thing corona virus has taught me, its that your little home town, as lovely as it may be, is just a check point in your life. You can always go back there, to recharge, to reconnect but ultimately, there’s a huge fucking world out there and its bloody beautiful. Go and see it!
So many of us seem to just settle for the life we’ve been told to live. Corrupted by insecurity and lack of vision. I posted an Instagram quote the other day which said ‘take inspiration from others but please think for yourself’. We get scared, we believe our visions are too large and they aren’t attainable when in fact no dream is too big and with the right mindset; anything can be attained.
It’s easy to blame others though isn’t it?
We all have our own trauma, no human being on this planet is trauma free. The difference is, we have some people roaming this earth blaming everyone and their cousins for their position in life. On the other hand, we have those who take accountability for their traumas, knowing they may not have been the one to cause them but they are going to be the BEAST that decides to heal them.
Our internal world is far more pivotal in living a healthy life than our external world. I think we tend to forget life is literally our creation. The experiences we’ve had and the emotions we have felt create the lens in which we look at the world. Although we are one collective this will look different to everyone. Those who have experienced tremendous pain, loss and grief may struggle to see the world as loving and beautiful; alternatively the opposite could happen. They may use their pain as a reminder that shit things happen but ultimately life is sacred and they’re grateful to be here. It all depends on the person.
When embarking on my self love journey I had no idea what it would entail or what my end result would be, I just wanted to be truly happy. Previously, I thought there would be a point I would reach and then that was it; life would be fantastic all the time after that. Now I understand life is continuously changing and evolving and so am I. I must be flexible if I wish to evolve and my idea of happiness when I first started is nothing like it is now. Ultimately, my journey will be never ending so why rush what I’m trying to achieve?
For someone who is used to putting in a lot of hard work and striving in order to get to the ‘end product’, this continuous journey has been hard for me to grasp. There is no end product, well there is, its death. There are days where I can feel the progress I have made on my spiritual journey, the way I respond to someone who is rude, the way I reinforce a boundary to someone who I previously let walk all over me. Real improvements.
However, some days are tough. This is usually when there’s a longer duration of time where I feel nothing is really happening. I’m not seeing an outcome of the hard work I’ve put in, situations haven’t arose where I can put my new practices to test and this is when my inspiration starts to lack along with my productivity. So what do I do to move past it? I am still. I go internally for my answers rather than trying to force them out. This creates a less stressful way of working and provides a more positive outcome.
I am having the BEST time rediscovering myself because I get to learn new ways of thinking and living that are evidently making my life feel more fulfilled. I get to spend time listening to what it is that I actually want - this may seem obvious but its not. There was a period of time where I genuinely thought I was thinking and acting for myself but I was just carrying out external influences expectations and ideologies. This isn’t done directly, its done by subtle subliminal messages, parents expectations/fears and patterns passed on by senior family members.
To say I am lucky with my family would be an understatement. By all means, my parents have tried to steer me in certain ways over the years out of fear and security (always with my best interest at heart) but I could literally turn around and be like ‘I want to be the UK’s top stripper’ and although they wouldn’t necessarily agree with my choice they would still support me. I feel like that’s the kind of family everyone needs. Honest, open opinions backed by love, blind faith and support.
Your 20s, 30s and 40s are no different. Can we please remove this stigma of your life not really beginning until you’re in your 30s? Life begins when you’re born and what you choose to do with your time on earth is all down to you. Want to start a new business at 50? GO FOR IT. Want to go back to college to do hair? GO FOR IT. Want to leave your abusive partner of 20 years? FUCKING DO IT. There isn't a specific guideline on how you should live your life year by year, fuck all the bullshit and do you!
Our lives are meant to be LIVED, to break the barriers, to soak-up new experiences, to enjoy the beautiful vast land we inhabit. LIFE IS NOT RIGID. It is complex, it is challenging and it is rewarding.
A beautiful fucking mess that we all get the pleasure to endure in whichever way we choose.
So stop rushing, stop trying to have it all figured out. You'll never have it all figured out! Time will reveal answers, ambitions and assholes. Be patient. Stop trying to please other people, go at your own pace and NEVER sacrifice your hearts desires for someone else's benefit. There is always a way.
Be still and be patient, the answers always come when it’s quiet, you just have to know when to listen...
Loving you,
SIS xox