I remember there was a time where I thought the best sex was super fast and super aggressive.
Fucking hilarious, I couldn’t have been more wrong!
I mean it definitely feels good for a bit. Dipping in and out of that vibe is delicious. But when it is constant, it gets to the point where I don't feel like I'm connecting. No connection, no cumming unfortunately.
Numerous sexual partners came and went over the years and I still couldn’t get anyone to make me orgasm consistently. It was frustrating.
Then this guy (who was patiently waiting for me to leave my man at the time) made himself known. He was by far my best. He was a lil older than me and he had such a calming energy, he made me weak in all of the soul consuming ways…
He never made me feel less than, uncomfortable or insecure. He had this amazing aura which made me feel so safe and appreciated without him doing much. I felt seen and desired.
Then he would put his dick in me…
Gentle as fuxk. Taking his time because he was real big and didn’t want to hurt me. The slow strokes, his attentiveness, his lips caressing my neck and nipples. He hit every spot, perfectly.
Even the way he guided me into different positions was angelic.
I’ve had great sex since, but nothing that has matched him.
He made me realise how much I was performing with the other men I had been with. Like I previously said, the sex before had been decent but it lacked that patience and passion.
Tension building for me is huge. I don’t like to be rushed and when my partner isn’t responding to my needs, it makes me zone out of the experience. I end up feeling like they're being selfish, so I want to get it over and done with as quickly as possible.
I know it’s hard to pace yourself when the excitement is spiking through the roof, but discipline in this area will enable you to connect even deeper with your chosen partner; leading to a better orgasm for the both of you.
Sex should be desired for the WHOLE experience. From flirt to finish - not just for the orgasm.
Porn has definitely embedded this unrealistic expectation of what women like in the bedroom. When I was disconnected from my feminine, everything was about the guy and how I could please him and if that meant putting on a show then I was going to do that. Just like how the women in porn perform.
It’s not a healthy representation of what REAL sex is like. Porn is the animalistic side to sex which doesn’t really hold any value for most women. We all know men and women are wired differently when it comes to sex, but this lack of education on the male part is why so many men are not pleasing their women.
The more I embraced my vulnerability and my feminine, the better I was able to relax and actually orgasm with my partners. Sex was no longer a show. It was this opportunity to let go and fully receive all of the pleasure I deserved. I was able to experience a divine journey with my chosen person. The sex had reached new heights and depths to say the least.
I think we forget that sex is just as much as a mental thing than it is physical. Have you ever laid with a man to only realise you’re not getting wet? Did you feel safe? Did you actually want to have sex? I know I’ve previously gotten dry because my body doesn’t actually want to fuck. I’ve just convinced myself that, it’s that form of intimacy I want - lies baby.
Whether it’s a committed relationship or not, there’s levels to sex and the intimacy it involves; especially if you want the experience to be multidimensional! When the actions are continuously aggressive and rushed, it's hard to really focus on the small details that send our partners wild. I like to be dominated but not to the point where I feel like my partner no longer has my pleasure as a priority. Thats when the union changes from a mutual experience to someone using my pussy as a wanking mechanism.
No woman wants that.
Take your time, sex is a form of play. Give and take.
If both parties have the aim of pleasing the other then no-one looses. When our partners are engulfed in their own pleasure and not responding to us - that’s where the disconnect begins. Ladies this is aimed at you too. You cannot expect your partner to put in all of the work. Laying there unenthusiastic and making no effort; is a sure way to make your partner feel neglected.
Men form a lot of their emotional connections through sex so it’s important to stay present and engaged with your partner whilst he is pleasuring you. Be encouraging. Let him know he is hitting it right and pleasure him back. Let him know he’s doing a good job and watch him try even harder for you. Men respond to encouragement so even if your partner needs a little direction, ensure your delivery is gentle. The worst thing you can do is emasculate him.
I tell you this from experience. When I wasn’t operating healthily in my feminine, my masculine being in over-drive, had this weird competitiveness and aggression towards my partner at the time. I made some comments that I could see hurt his soul and I will never forget the look on his face when I dropped those lines. It was a lesson well learnt.
If you’re putting your dick inside of a woman and if you are letting a man put his dick inside of you, there’s a level of care and responsibility that comes with that. Its all well and good claiming it was just a beat but there is a literal imprint of the other person on your spirit once the act is done. Thats why when we have some really good sex its hard to let that person go. Its not just because the sex was good but the experience connected you on a spiritual level. The same goes for bad sex, you feel like shite after and wouldn’t want to revisit the same experience again.
People really do have bad spirits attached to them so please be careful with who you are sharing your sacredness with.
And for goodness sakes, please COMMUNICATE what you want before laying with someone. If it’s just sex, say that. If you would like to see how things go, express that. There’s nothing worse than two people being on different pages because of a lack of communication. They share a bed and then they are left feeling confused, frustrated or pressured. This lack of awareness usually leads those emotions onto the next victim. Not cool.
Be clear with what you want.
25 days left gang!
I hope whoever I next share a bed with treats me like the good lil bad girl I am :)
Loving you,
SIS xoxo
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