DICK SLAPPED

Hello you horny fuckers, I hope life is treating you as you deserve?

I was reading something on insta the other day, you know them sexual memes that are like ‘omg deep throat his dick whilst tickling his balls with your tongue’, ‘wait for him to buss then make him dick slap you with his huge fucking shlong’... It made me think, we all know I love to do that.

The first time I was dick slapped, I was OFFENDED.

This was years ago. I had a ting that I was fucking with on and off for over ten years. To this day, he is still someone I rate, highly. He is a brilliant man and can light up any room he walks in. He’s a bit of a pessimist, but when I tell you no-one makes me belly laugh like he does; I’m not lying. Our relationship started as friends, but as time went on I developed extra feels for him. We were young at the time, I was about 14 and he was 16. I can’t remember specifics because it was so long ago, but 14 year old Shannon used her sexual prowess to get what she wanted. We ended up fucking with each other, nothing serious, just good friends with great benefits.

This is the man who coached me into being the dick sucker that I am today, and I’m good…

I had sucked dick before, we all know I was getting down in the business from early. I couldn’t tell you whether I was bad or good at that time, I just know that this guy had the biggest dick (length and girth wise) that I had ever dealt with. Him whipping his tings out was both exciting and nerve-wracking. We didn’t jump straight into the full shebang from the get go. It started off with cheeky hand jobs whilst we were out with friends, doing it on the sly ensuring no-one could see. On the bus as we’re all bantering. Curled up on the sofa watching TV with the team. Any time it was a risk, we were doing it.

It was thrilling.

Obviously we got caught on a few occasions but that was part of the fun. Seeing the shock and slight disgust in our friends faces was arousing for me. Anyways, as things began to progress, the hand jobs turnt to head. How am I going to fit this huge fucking thing in my mouth without choking and dying? In the same breath, I won't be defeated. Fucking love a challenge. Deep throating isn’t the be all end all of a good blow job. Can we please remove this narrative? The secret to giving great head is to enjoy giving head. If you don’t like it, find a way to love it. I didn’t initially like sucking dick like I do now. It felt like a chore, especially when the dick was big. My poor jaw was being put through the works. Instead of thinking about the pain I was in, I focused on the pleasure I was giving. I thrive off good feedback so I’m not about to let this dick beat me.

The beating came at a later date…

There are a few obvious ingredients for sucking dick well that I’ve learnt over the years. The first being to actually enjoy it. Theres nothing sexier to a man than seeing a woman absolutely worshipping his cock. Tears flowing down the face as you’re struggling for oxygen. Snot dribbling on occasion too. Most like it messy. You're choosing his pleasure over your life. How can he not admire you for that? Deep throating is a hard skill to learn if your gag reflex is anything like mine. I have to hold my breath to get the depth and angle without throwing up my dinner. I have puked a good few times on dick. Especially if I’ve been drinking. The last time this happened to me, it was in a super dark room. I just ate my sick back up as I was sucking, he didn’t even know it happened.

The next morning he told me it was the best head he’s ever had, hehe.

That REAL sloppy top. It's normal, it happens! The main three components for delivering great head are: speed, wetness and motion. You don’t have to be going at 1000mph. Sucking dick is a pleasure for women too. Make sure you’re considering your own ability, pace, and not feeling pressured. The societal obsession of being able to deep throat made me despise sucking dick, but it also pressured me to learn. Deep throating for me, came when I found my flow, and was happy to just explore and have fun with it. It doesn't have to be so serious, just chill, have a conversation with him while you're doing it.

Build more intimacy.

For example, deep throating my decade deep tings properly - I say properly because I could get it to the back of my throat. Getting it down my throat took some more experience and exploration. Slotting his pipe down my wind-pipe came years later. We were never consistent in seeing each other as we grew older. One of them ones where you'd randomly bump into each other after a long period. On occasion we would both be single and you know wagwarn after that. We both dealt with people in between meaning more experience was being bought to the table when we eventually linked again. We were comfortable. I knew his dick: the right amount of grip, the speed of the strokes, when to speed up and slow down. It’s a marathon not a sprint; not to mention a trust thing. I always suck dick better if theres an actual foundation of feelings there. Watch me suck yo soul baby, you deserve this.

Don’t leave any part untouched for too long.

We all know about the double twist gawk gawk technique. That shit has saved me numerous times (especially if he's on the bigger side). The smaller brothers need to stop asking for it. I have big hands and sir, you do not have enough dick for the double twist. Anyways, if you can’t deep throat, you’re probably not going in at the right angle, straight back doesn’t work for me. I have to be slanted to the left or right for it to get the real depth. Cant do that? Just learn to suck the tip real good. Your tongue needs to be doing up gymnastics at the Olympics. Spit on the dick if it’s dry. I do a mixture of spitting and allowing my saliva to dribble down as I’m sucking the tip. Gagging will help produce saliva, so choke on it here and there if you fancy it. I’ll then use my hands (firm grasp but not too hard) to spread my saliva all around as I’m wanking at the same time.

I’m good at sucking dick because I have fun with it.

If I’ve had enough of sucking the tip, I’ll wank and lick from the balls up to the tip, slowly, building the tension, keeping eye contact. I’ll be spitting all over his tings, massaging the balls, suffocating in his sack as my hand puts in a shift. Fucking love that shit. Gotta give that gooch a smooch too, honey. You just need to figure out what your guy likes, communicate! In my experience most men enjoy similar things so its just about experimenting and having fun. Don’t be afraid to go slow, some guys claim to hate it but its only because they’re not comfortable with how sensational it feels. These are usually the guys who haven’t connected that deeply with themselves. Lack of discipline and appreciation, being present isn’t easy for them.

So the OG ting I mentioned at the start, helped form this devil pit of a mouth of mine…

I remember we were at a friends and sneaked off. We were having a good old gulp and giggle. I’m doing my thing and he is loving it as per. He busses all in my mouth, I slurp him down. I love how he tastes. I look up at him with smiling eyes, and my man just tumps me straight in the face with his piece. Initially I was vexed. WHAT THE FUCK? He’s laughing away, as men do, all proud of himself. I demanded an explanation and he apologised, saying he couldn't resist. 'It was sexy' and that sweet talk, we ended up having a laugh about it. Years later and I’m asking men to dick slap me because it makes me juicy. It’s like a slap of approval for me now.

Good job lil mama *DOINK.

It also feeds into the ‘disrespect me’ narrative that I have. Like being slapped in the face with a dick is rude. Can you imagine someone you don’t have sexual feelings towards, dick slapping you? No fucking thank you, I’d rip it straight out of its socket. Prick. However, If my pussy juice is dripping off ya chin? Go ahead, slap away! I love how wild we get when the vibes there with someone. You know when you can’t get enough? Like you could be munching the FUCK out of a pussy, there is literally nothing else you can do. So you eat the ass because you need to be in every fucking crevice?! Thats like me with dick.

Try sticking it up my nostril papi, poke it in my eye, BLIND ME NEOWW.

I know every woman isn’t the same as me, and some women hate sucking dick, but I feel like if its something your partner enjoys; you should make the effort. This is where boundaries and communication come in. Don’t force yourself to do something you absolutely hate just to appease someone else, you know I don’t condone that. Effort is never a bad thing though! One thing I cannot stand is a man face fucking me without my permission. I need to be in the mood and mentally prepare myself for it. Face fucking is PTSD vibes for me though, so unless I communicate that to my ting, how is he going to know?

Until next time, Lovers

SIS xox