Did you miss me?
I like to think I’m quite a patient person but when it comes to creating the life of my dreams, right now, I feel like I’m on the edge of a cliff. Ready to spread my arms and jump to my death. And not in the beautiful, spiritual rebirth way. Just death.
Am I being dramatic? Yes. Yes I am.
I’ve been working hard and trying to find balance for all the tingz. Unfortunately within this process I have let my blogging slip. I have been focusing on my Youtube channel which I have a love/hate relationship with; the internal battle is draining. I love to create on Youtube but the lack of reach is bugging me and has been for a while now. My channel is growing; just not at the rate I’d hoped for. By all means I am grateful for my subscribers and the community I have created. But Shannon wants all of the tinge, now! On top of that, trying to plan for my self-employed future whilst working a full time corporate job that slowly sucks the life out of me everyday is tough. I just want to spend all of my time creating.
Now I know all my spiritual mamas are currently screaming at their screens like ‘LEAVE THE CORPORATE JOB AND FOLLOW YOUR SOUL’. Trust me hunnies, I want to, but a bitch has bills to pay.
As a creator, I enjoy creating… shock! I am currently not at the benchmark for earning an income through Youtube. The goal is to have this smashed by year end. I have inconsistent income from web development which is great but as I said, inconsistent. So many projects but so little time!
I wanted to write this blog because I am constantly in two split minds about what I’m doing and if I’m doing enough. As a projector, it’s important for me to wait for the invitation. Thats where my energy resides and the magic is released. Lately, impatience is getting the better of me. Spiritually, if you overly force things without trusting divine timing, it can push your desires further from you. I can taste the success, its on the tip of my tongue! So my focus is small consistent steps and reminding myself to ENJOY the process.
A very valid daily mantra for me indeed.
ENJOY THE PROCESS
Those who know me well, know that my passion is to invoke inspiration and empowerment to everyone, women especially. Whether it be working on your body image, business or overall being. I want people to relate to what I create so they know they are NOT alone. We all have dreams and aspirations but you won’t just wake up one day to having it all. You have to put in the work and that means failing so you can succeed.
The little voice telling me I’m not good enough, not experienced enough or not loveable enough can absolutely suck my dick…
Our minds are funny things, when we step outside our comfort zone we can experience a sense of insecurity and with that comes the belittling beliefs and self doubt. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt in my 25 years of living is that, the little voice is indeed LITTLE. Big things cannot happen if we do not evolve. It’s scary, uncomfortable and exposes our vulnerability but vulnerability is our ability to connect, grow and thrive. So fuck the little voice. Where the big one at?
I am a firm believer of ‘No Dream Is Too Big’. I don’t have all the details of how I’m going to create my dream life but I do have an idea of where I can start. The current age we are in with social media creates this false narrative of getting what we want as soon as we want it; life doesn’t work like that. The truest things worth having will not come easy. We have to persevere.
DON’T FORGET TO TELL THAT LITTLE VOICE, ‘BITCH SHHHH’.
Social media pisses me off but I love it. It has the ability to make me feel both special and inadequate. I see peers putting out a lot of content on a frequent basis and it makes me feel like I’m not doing enough. I have to remind myself that everyones way of working is different. If I push too hard I burn myself out and what good can I be if I’m deflated? How can I spread my message with the energy and enthusiasm my soul wishes to project when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep?
The point I’m trying to make is that although all of our dreams differ, we first have to understand ourselves and our motivations without comparing to the rest of the world. No two paths are the same. Life is about enjoying the moment and appreciating the process as we are creating; whether that be baking cakes, writing an article or decorating a home. Anything and everything is a form of art if you are doing it with love.
This is something I have to constantly remind myself through the roller coaster of emotions I experience when creating. It's easy to get caught up in the destination but the journey is where the juju happens. To all of my fellow creators, believe in yourself, remember why you started and don’t be afraid to take a break when you need to!
One day I WILL jump off that cliff, but in the beautiful spiritual rebirth way.
Sending you all love,
SIS xox